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What’s Getting in the Way of Your Mojo?

A User’s Guide to Restoring & Revitalizing Your Mojo, by Wendy Collett  

These days women have many roles – wife, mom, chef de cuisine, chauffeur, employee, boss, supervisor, soccer coach, and don’t forget being a daughter to aging parents.

At the end of the day, when we have performed each role to the fullest – because that is just who we are – what do you look forward to most?  Is it: a) a scoop of Haagen-Dazs. Insert favorite flavor here – mine being strawberry, b) jumping in to bed and going to sleep, or c) jumping into bed and having sex with your partner.

I will bet that 99.9% did not say that c) jumping into bed and having sex with your partner, is the thing you are looking forward to. As women we are taught to give, without expectation of anyone giving back to us. Eventually, we tend to feel as if every day we are running on the same treadmill, with every day being almost a carbon copy of the one right before it. By the time we have completed the 1001 things on our daily To Do list, we end up looking like this woman; we are depleted, leaving no room or appetite for couple time and intimacy.

Lack of Intimacy Takes its Toll

Eventually, the lack of intimacy takes its toll. Not only do we start to forget who we are as a person; it also becomes harder and harder to reacquaint ourselves with our partner.   We start missing the happy-go-lucky person we once were and long to go back in time to recapture that magic.

Since my time machine is on the fritz at the moment, the only thing to do is to go forward and change the present. We need to get our mojo – our zest for life – back and do it pronto.

Here are six sequential tips for getting your mojo back.

•  The first thing to do is to replenish yourself and refuel. For example, eat more healthily, exercise more, get a good restful night’s sleep, and spend time relaxing in your special way.

If after a week of this you are still feeling stressed and draggy, consult your physician. There may be an underlying problem that needs to be addressed. For me, it was high blood pressure. I needed to get that under control before my mojo even had a chance of coming back to me.

For most women, sex can only happen when there is intimacy, when we are feeling good about our partners. Take the time to talk out any anger or resentments with your partner. Don’t look to blame but to have each one understand the other. Neither one of you is perfect nor can you expect the two of you to always be in sync.

Do things together! Do things together that scare the heck out of you! Every once in a while I find I just have to do something that scares me a little – white water rafting, for example. In terms of mojo hunting, it makes it better when you do it together.  Last summer, my husband and I went sky diving. I never thought I could do it, always assumed I’d have a heart attack on the way down, but survive I did and doing something so thrilling together gave a long lasting boost to our intimacy (and something to talk about for a long time to come – double bonus!). Face it – adrenaline is sexy.

Sexy is as sexy does. Do whatever gets your mojo humming. Enjoy wearing boas and garters? Go for it! Porn gets your mojo going? Indulge yourself! A bubble bath with soft lighting and candles puts you in the mood? I say hallelujah! The secret is to do whatever it is that lets you feel sexy and all woman.

Practice makes perfect. After great sex and intimacy it is hard to imagine why we waited so long. I don’t like the idea of scheduling intimacy. I do like the idea of keeping the intimacy going. A soft touch, a long look, reminds you both of the great thing you have together. It may be easier and faster to go through your day without making those efforts, but that starts the slide toward becoming strangers again. If you two love role play and the stranger thing works for you, go for it. If you don’t, well, you know what to do.

I know from experience that night sweats and hot flashes are bad for the mojo. Drenched in your own sweat is not a sexy look and feeling hot in a hormonal way seldom leads to feeling hot in the other way.

As such, I developed a line of sleepwear for women who want to look “hot” in the bedroom who are also feeling hot from night sweats and hot flashes.  Please enjoy our gift to you of 20% off your entire order with coupon code hotflash20.

Here is to mighty mojos!

Wendy Collett is the founder and CEO of Dry Babe Absorbent Sleepwear for “Hot’ Mamas. For more information about Dry Babe and to take advantage of the 20% off offer, go to


Author: Wendy Collett

Wendy Collett is the founder and CEO of Dry Babe Absorbent Sleepwear for “Hot” Mamas. Dry Babe makes fun, flirty, & functional womens sleepwear for women with night sweats due to menopause, perimenopause and other hormonal changes, serious illness such as thyroid, cancer and diabetes, & medications such as anti-depressants and sleep aids. It is the first ABSORBENT sleepwear on the market.

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