If you think that some women have a hard time talking about their private lives and their sexuality, you should see this very revealing movie “Hope Springs”. Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones give a commendable performance of an over middle aged couple whose 31 year marriage just exists with no passion. They sleep in separate rooms, they have not had sex or sexual intimacy in over 4 years, and there is no conversation or interest in each other’s lives.
However, it is not the woman who finds sexual intimacy difficult, it is her husband. She tries to look sexy and he does not notice or want to notice. He finds excuses and rejects her attempts to have him notice her.
When I looked around this small theatre, I realized that the audience was mostly older couples. When the movie ended everyone seemed quiet with not much to comment on as we mostly do after a movie ends, some even looked a bit uncomfortable. I started thinking about not only the women I have spoken with about their lack of libido, but other comments from women who seem to feel that their husbands do not seem to want that sexual intimacy as they did when they were younger. I spoke with a woman who told me that she liked sex, but her husband did not seem to need it anymore so they do not have any sexual intimacy and she is OK with that, as long as he was happy. Hmmmm!!
The movie covered subjects like masturbation and erectile dysfunction, which was not an issue, as he did not experience ED and she did not masturbate. It did not take into consideration women’s issue of vaginal dryness or painful intercourse.
It occurred to me that women DO want to discuss their sexual aging but men still feel uncomfortable with sexual intimacy. Is it true that men lose their libido as they age as well?
I do believe that sexual intimacy is an important part of keeping a marriage alive and healthy. But so are the other aspects of a relationship. Talk to each other, touch each other, and always sleep in the same bed together.
My little secret; a movie worth seeing and a topic that needs further discussion.
Olga Cohen is the CEO of Grohen Technologies and the Creator of Vaginal Renewal Complex™. She has helped numerous women find safe and effective natural treatments for vaginal dryness, a common symptom of menopause.